​Is it still necessary to send thank you cards after your wedding?

Is it still necessary to send thank you cards after your wedding?

Gratitude never goes out of style and that's why it is important to thank your guests after you've been married. However you do have more wiggle room these days on how you express your gratitude.

Know Your Audience
I personally don't mind receiving a thank you via electronic means, whether it's a text, email, or message through social media. But my mother, although she often texts, would not be impressed with a thank you message by that same means. She prefers a card, whether it's typed or hand-written.

So go ahead and save some money by directly messaging your thanks to your facebook friends. But for those family members that don't spend much time online as well as those who consider tradition to be of great importance, send a card.

The more details, the better
As you open your cards and gifts, keep a list of what you received and from whom. It will be so much simpler to thank Grandma for the bedspread that you like, and cousin Bert for the clock that you don't like - if you have an accurate record. The point is to mention the item given because personal references makes your gratitude sound more sincere.

Example 1. "Grandma, thank you for the beautiful bedspread! It will look gorgeous on the new bed we purchased."

Example 2. "Bert, wherever did you find such a unique clock? Thank you for attending our wedding and for your kind thought in purchasing the gift."

Don't forget to thank the people who gave you gift cards as well.

Example 3. "your gift card is helping to purchase the vacuum that we so desperately need".

When necessary, you can send a redundant "thanks for coming" message to everyone on your list, but a more thoughtful message is best especially for the gifts that required a lot of time to construct or plan. For instance, the scrapbook your friend created of all of your memorable relationship moments, should be gushed over enthusiastically.

When in doubt, generalities will have to do
You have Aunt Millie's name in your guestbook, but you can't find a gift from her. Did she give one? Did it get lost? Do you send a thank you card?
The answer is "yes", you send a card, but I recommend a diversionary tactic of talking about yourself to fill up card space. (You're a newlywed, you'll be forgiven for a little selfish rambling.)
Example: "Thank you for attending our wedding! We're so lucky to have such wonderful, supportive friends like you as we begin this exciting adventure together."

Yes you're busy, so is everyone else
People know that your life is hectic with the wedding, the honeymoon, and the combining of two lives into one smooth-functioning marriage. They won't expect you to get the thank you cards done right away. Tradition says you have up to a year to get your "thanks" out, but trust me when I say this is one task you'll want off your shoulders sooner rather than later. But most importantly, just do it! Your guests took the time to get a gift and attend your ceremony; budget a few hours one day, or a half hour over the course of several days to send a "thank you" that everyone will appreciate getting.

8th Dec 2014 Brieanne Gerritsen

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