​Don't Let Failure Define Your Character

Don't Let Failure Define Your Character

You may have seen the widely circulated story of soon-to-be bride, Shelby Swink who trashed her wedding dress after her finance called off the wedding. If not, then it's worth clicking the link to see the pictures of her in her dress covered in paint.


What impressed me was her attitude about the whole affair. After all, any person who is dumped five days before his or her own wedding is bound to feel a range of very strong emotions. Swink could have planned this same "trash the dress" ritual as a pity party, where I'd expect to see pictures of tears running down her face. Or she could have used it to fuel her rage and turned it into a man-hating, bash-a-thon that projected a tone of bitterness and rejection. But instead, she came across looking strong; a woman possessing self-confidence, resilience and fortitude. Her grace was most evident in her attitude eloquently expressed in her own words:

"Instead of lying down and letting life trample over me, I decided to get up and face it head-on,”

Her parents were involved in the ritual and her bridesmaids were the ones throwing the paint. Of them, Swink said, I couldn’t have asked for a better group of friends.”

To her Ex, she had these words: "Thank you for sparing me greater pain and loss down the road. Thank you for pushing me to realize my own strength. Thank you for teaching me that no one can take away my happiness. Thank you for letting me go so I can one day experience true reciprocated love. THANK YOU!"

Swink's final move was to put the dress on display at a local bridal shop where a portion of the proceeds from each dress sold during the month will go to a non-profit that helps people in Africa.

I genuinely believe that a woman who can muster this kind of an outlook after the rejection she suffered, is one who will definitely find a man who will love and appreciate her positive qualities, including the ability to fight through the misfortunes of life.

There's not a person living today that will escape heartache. We'll all bear our share of sorrow, grief and embarrassment. There's little inconveniences like a broken shoe and big disappointments like a ruined wedding cake. But even greater still are the really painful moments like loss of employment, serious health problems, or the death of a loved one. When these things crash upon us, we would do well to take a cue from Shelby and lift our heads up, embrace comfort from family or friends and find the silver lining that gives us hope to look for happier times to come. 

A blog post from Mens Wedding Bands

26th Jan 2015 Brieanne Gerritsen

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